To my ears right now, that sounds like my own pile of horse shit.
I do not want to be part of this mess, part of a country that seeks to dehumanize people. I am devastated that our country would choose a model of derision and division, a platform of bigotry and oppression.
My values have been stepped on, tossed aside and discounted. This is not the same world I chose to bring children into.
Well, I have news for myself – it is the same world I chose to bring children into. We have simply brought things into the light.
Recognizing my own willingness to keep things in the dark corners in the past, I decided to dive in, post-election, with both eyes open. Reading articles, sharing social media posts, staying abreast of all that was going on out there. (I know, I know – you can see where this is headed. Apparently, it is a lesson I needed to relearn…)
Instead of feeling better informed, I felt battered and disoriented. With no filters, I could not process all that I was taking in. For every post that urged coming together was another that spoke of revolution. For every story of someone feeling scared and alone was another urging me not to succumb to my fears. Judgment and blame being assigned in all directions. With the onslaught, it all became noise.
Why did I think I could learn the call of the eastern towhee by standing in Times Square?
If I knew pre-election, that I needed to back off my media consumption, I am not sure why I did not have the same realization post-election. And so, I am learning again – that I must be very intentional about my media consumption, that I must engage in self-care practices, that I must voice my concerns and create space for my emotions.
I will not be of service to our hurting world, if I allow myself to be swept away in the din, if I forget to recharge with solitude and silence, with nature and nurturance.
At the same time, I will not be of service to our hurting world if I batten down the hatches and do not come out. Even if a four year, silent retreat in India sounds pretty tempting right now, I must acknowledge that we are in this together.
That statement, it turns out, is not horse shit.
The ground beneath my feet may be rupturing – but that does not mean I should jump headlong into the chasm or simply cover my eyes and hope for the best.
If I reach out my hand, I will no doubt find another hand to hold onto. Together, perhaps we can find a way to more solid ground.
I will move through this the best I know how – with open eyes and an open heart, with intentional footsteps and intentional breaths, with a strong voice and stronger legs.
I have a journey ahead of me, and there is much work to do.
What are you learning about yourself, post-election? What resource do you wish to call forward in yourself?