To be human is to become visible, while carrying what is hidden as a gift to others. - David Whyte
My Story
Before beginning my coaching training in 2014, I had stayed home full-time for nearly ten years. I loved this time for the opportunity it gave me to focus solely on one thing - my family. Along the way, however, I fell into the trap of equating who I was with the roles I played: mother, spouse, household manager. I worked hard to be the best mom and the best partner that I could. And how did I measure my success? I measured my success (read: worth) by how happy my family was, by how well I was meeting their needs.
We can all see where this story is headed. But I was too close to it to see the pitfalls to come. I was putting one foot in front of the other, not noticing that it felt like a daily grind. I had put my own needs on hold; I wasn't taking the time to look at the scenery, to enjoy the people in my life and our experiences together. I wasn't taking the time to look inside myself and notice the impact of the choices I was making.
It was like being on a path in a dense wood, pushing the pace, knowing there is somewhere I'm supposed to be arriving, but unsure when or where that is, so continuing on and continuing on - at great expense. I didn't notice that the path was becoming a well-worn rut. I was going around in a circle of unrealistic expectations, my path becoming more like a trench. I felt trapped and resentful. There was no sun-filled clearing to arrive at, no cliff edge overlooking the expansive sea, announcing, "You have arrived!"
It hadn't occurred to me that the journey was the thing and it was mine to make. I could turn my path into a rut or I could slow down and let it be an unfolding. So I began to have intentional conversations with myself. These conversations required me to pause, to reflect, to intuit and to make conscious choices. I read poetry and allowed myself to be challenged and inspired. Mary Oliver asked me, "...what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" David Whyte counseled me,
"Remember the way you are all possibilities
you can see and how you live best
as an appreciator of horizons,
whether you reach them or not."
I asked myself, "What is on the horizon? Who do I want to be in the world? What brings me alive?"
I put myself back on the front burner. I made time for activities that fed me. I allowed people to see my whole self and not just the parts I thought they'd like. I used my voice to speak my truth and not what I thought people wanted to hear. I reconnected with the inner wisdom of my spiritual self and I listened.
As a partner and as a mom, things have only gotten better. I value those roles and those relationships because I have COME HOME TO MYSELF - I am living authentically: as a spiritual seeker, a helper, a holder of space and conversation. I am doing work that brings me alive - helping others connect to their own inner knowing of who they can be in the world and how they want to live a powerful and meaningful life.
If this resonates with you and your desire to live more fully connected and engaged with yourself, please get in touch. I'd love to hear more about 'your one wild and precious life.'
We can all see where this story is headed. But I was too close to it to see the pitfalls to come. I was putting one foot in front of the other, not noticing that it felt like a daily grind. I had put my own needs on hold; I wasn't taking the time to look at the scenery, to enjoy the people in my life and our experiences together. I wasn't taking the time to look inside myself and notice the impact of the choices I was making.
It was like being on a path in a dense wood, pushing the pace, knowing there is somewhere I'm supposed to be arriving, but unsure when or where that is, so continuing on and continuing on - at great expense. I didn't notice that the path was becoming a well-worn rut. I was going around in a circle of unrealistic expectations, my path becoming more like a trench. I felt trapped and resentful. There was no sun-filled clearing to arrive at, no cliff edge overlooking the expansive sea, announcing, "You have arrived!"
It hadn't occurred to me that the journey was the thing and it was mine to make. I could turn my path into a rut or I could slow down and let it be an unfolding. So I began to have intentional conversations with myself. These conversations required me to pause, to reflect, to intuit and to make conscious choices. I read poetry and allowed myself to be challenged and inspired. Mary Oliver asked me, "...what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" David Whyte counseled me,
"Remember the way you are all possibilities
you can see and how you live best
as an appreciator of horizons,
whether you reach them or not."
I asked myself, "What is on the horizon? Who do I want to be in the world? What brings me alive?"
I put myself back on the front burner. I made time for activities that fed me. I allowed people to see my whole self and not just the parts I thought they'd like. I used my voice to speak my truth and not what I thought people wanted to hear. I reconnected with the inner wisdom of my spiritual self and I listened.
As a partner and as a mom, things have only gotten better. I value those roles and those relationships because I have COME HOME TO MYSELF - I am living authentically: as a spiritual seeker, a helper, a holder of space and conversation. I am doing work that brings me alive - helping others connect to their own inner knowing of who they can be in the world and how they want to live a powerful and meaningful life.
If this resonates with you and your desire to live more fully connected and engaged with yourself, please get in touch. I'd love to hear more about 'your one wild and precious life.'
