My birthday is coming up next week. And, don’t worry, I’m completely prepared. It was January when I started “trying on” my new age.
I may have mentioned before that I like to be ready for transitions. I like closure, and I like acknowledging, “Okay, this is ending, and that is beginning.”
So, that means I start thinking
In general, I think walking consciously into a transition is a good thing. But I seem to be running into some trouble with this one. Because what happens is that when my birthday does actually arrive, I have to think for a minute about what age I’m turning. This year, I’ve been so caught up in getting used to the idea of turning 44, that I find myself having to do some quick mental math, asking myself, “wait, am I turning 44 or 45?” And I remember the same thing happening last year.
It seems that I over-prepare - to the point of being ready to skip a whole year of my life. Apparently, there is part of me that is more comfortable living in the future. It makes sense - I tend to be future-oriented. I often make decisions based on the impact they’ll have on some anticipated future.
Well, don’t think I’m doing myself any favors. What if this moment - at 43 years and 11 months - is the moment that I should be noticing? What if this moment is the one that counts?
When I sit with that question, things suddenly slow down. I hear the hum of the refrigerator, the call of the birds outside. I hear the breeze brushing through the leaves on the trees.
It is a peaceful moment. And the amazing thing is - there are so many more like it. Perhaps with different sounds coming to my ears, but there to notice nonetheless. Each one is available to me, whenever I choose it to be so.
Suddenly, things just got a lot slower. So much to cherish, so much to appreciate.
Right now, I appreciate being 43 and 11 months in the long days of June.
What do you notice in this moment? What does this moment offer you?
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