J. S. Curtis Coaching
personal coaching for powerful change
  • About
    • About Me >
      • My Story
    • Inspiration
  • Services
    • Coaching >
      • Coaching through Transitions
      • Anchored and Adept in Uncertain Times
      • Magic and Meaning in Mid-Life
      • FAQ
      • Logistics
    • Workshops
    • Facilitation
    • Testimonials
  • Contact
  • Blog
    • Subscribe

Belonging

4/3/2019

1 Comment

 
Picture
" ...the ability to turn your face towards home is one of the great human endeavors and the great human stories. " - David Whyte
I have a long-term relationship with the story of Not-Belonging. The good news is that I have done a lot of work to detangle the threads of story from the threads of worth. And I am aware that holding on to the story of Not-Belonging keeps me disconnected from others - and from myself.

How disempowering it is to decide that I am a misfit or that I’m not particularly worth getting to know. As I write those words, it brings me back to my high school years when I did feel like an outsider, like I didn’t fit the mold of what it meant to be a teenager.

I wanted to read poetry and talk about God. My friends were more interested in boys and clothes. So, I tried to find new friends. And I kept the poetry and God to myself. This helped in the short-term. But the story took hold in me - the story of Not-Belonging.

I had similar struggles in college when friends had different ideas about how they wanted to spend their free time. I would go to the dance studio on a Friday night - as a choreographer, I had a key - and I would put on music and move. I just couldn’t face the keg parties and the social banter.

Thankfully, adulthood has offered me some alternative social opportunities that don’t have to revolve around alcohol or banter. I still notice myself staying on the periphery at times. I tend to be reserved in new situations - I have had a lot of those in the last two years - and it makes it harder for people to get to know me.

I’m quite comfortable showing up as competent, reliable, useful. Showing up vulnerably is much harder. Perhaps that retincense to be vulnerable keeps me floating near the edge.

I’ve recently joined a women’s circle in town as a way to meet people. It is a place for women to be in relationship in an intentional way, to feel supported and offer support, as we explore what it means to live into who we want to be in the world.

It requires showing up authentically, with a willingness to be vulnerable. I didn’t exactly jump in with both feet in terms of trust and vulnerability. But as the weeks go by, I feel myself opening up little by little.

I am aware that holding onto the story of Not-Belonging externalizes the issue. It becomes about my relationship with other. What if that story is turned inside out?

It becomes the story of Belonging - to myself. Now that feels like a song worth singing. 

Derek Walcott has a beautiful poem about coming home to one’s self. It begins with the lines:
The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other’s welcome…
​

It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the angst of evaluation - how am I doing?? The notion of coming home helps us to focus on being with.

Being with myself, welcoming myself, loving myself.

The most rewarding work - and the work of a lifetime.


What does it mean to you to come home to yourself? How might you show yourself that warmest of welcomes?
​


Picture
​Jessica Curtis is a professional coach who helps people cultivate intention and live from a place of meaning and authenticity. If you think you could benefit from working with Jessica or want to invite her to work with your group, reach out to start a conversation.
​

Sign-up to receive my newsletter and blog to your Inbox:
Subscribe
1 Comment

    Archives

    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2014
    August 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014

    Categories

    All
    Awe
    Balance
    Beginning
    Belonging
    Coloring
    Creativity
    Cycles
    Embodiment
    Fulfillment
    Geography
    Good Enough
    Gratitude
    Honesty
    Hope
    Intention
    Letting Go
    Living Space
    Loss
    Milestones
    Mindfulness
    Mortality
    Moving Forward
    Nature
    New Year
    Noticing
    Parenting
    Personal Growth
    Perspectives
    Practice
    Presence
    Questions
    Resilience
    Self Care
    Self Compassion
    Self-Compassion
    Simplicity
    Solitude
    Stillness
    Transitions
    Values
    Vulnerability
    Yoga Practice
    Zen

    RSS Feed

    Author

    Jessica Curtis is a coach, a writer and a spiritual seeker.

    I work with individuals wanting to dive deeper into their lives, to cultivate balance, foster self-awareness and nurture their souls.

    Through this blog, I invite you to explore and be curious: What are you learning about yourself? about your journey? 

    Contact me - I would love to chat with you about where you are now and where you would like to be.

Email:
jessica@jscurtiscoaching.com​

Phone:
​774-545-6659


​​​Jessica S. Curtis, M.Ed., CPCC, PCC

Picture
Picture
Copyright © 2020