The Harder Story

I took out my calendar this morning and counted. I counted the weeks that we have left until our flight home to the U.S.

​How is it that we are already counting in weeks?

I don’t feel ready yet. Not just because I haven’t gotten the cat immigration paperwork finished. I don’t feel ready because I really like it here. We live more simply, with fewer things and fewer commitments. And we live more in the experience.

We are not just going through the motions or running from one thing to the next or trying to meet others’ expectations. We are exploring the landscape, sampling foods, meeting people, learning about the culture and history of this place. We are also relaxing on the couch with a book, crafting, cooking together, shooting hoops, playing gin rummy.

Living in the U.S. shouldn’t preclude me from doing any of these things (well, okay, there is no pool). So, how do I bring back with me the tenor of our lives here - of living in the experience of our days?

​I’m envisioning us re-entering our lives in Massachusetts with all the running around we had before we left: baseball teams, cycling, music lessons, church, Zen temple,  school volunteering requests. I start to remember all the chauffeuring, all the interrupted dinner times, all the tag-team parenting… 
I’m starting to break out into a sweat.

So I pause. And I take a breath. And I look up at the other tab open on my browser. It’s a StoryPeople illustration by Brian Andreas. I click on it because I don’t remember what it says:

“All I can tell you is there will come a moment when you see how easy it is to have the thing you want & all that stopped you the whole time was believing it had to be harder.”

Oh. How did I know to leave those wise words up on my screen? 

Unpacking it for myself, I realize, that I am making up the harder story of how it will be when we move back. And in no way is this story serving me. All it does is set me up for having it be hard. 

What if moving back is a breeze? What if we settle into a lifestyle similar to what we’ve created here? 

I notice myself relaxing, as I envision it. Suddenly, there is more space in my mind, more space in my body. I can breathe more deeply, my mind quiets.

I cannot control the pace of my life in September by over-thinking it now. Instead, I can envision what I would like it to be and trust that it doesn’t have to be hard. 

And I can be here with the peace and ease of now, letting it support me as things unfold, as we walk forward into transition.


​Where does 'it has to be harder' show up for you? In what area of your life do you hold onto a story of difficulty?

Jessica Curtis is a professional coach who helps people cultivate intention and live from a place of meaning and authenticity. If you think you could benefit from working with Jessica or want to invite her to work with your group, reach out to start a conversation.
​

Sign-up to receive my newsletter and blog to your Inbox:

Subscribe