I may have mentioned somewhere along the way that I have tendencies toward perfectionism and unreasonably high baseline expectations of myself. I have made a lot of adjustments over the years, learning how to be more gentle with myself, learning to let go of evaluation as a way of understanding myself and the world.
It’s an ongoing endeavor, of course, and I just keep showing up with humility and appreciation for new awareness. I have recently been thinking about wanting to do a better job of “letting go of an improvement mindset.”
Do you hear the irony there? I can only shake my head and laugh. Who am I kidding? It’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
But what happens if I can put down the lens of “improvement”? Letting go of that linear concept of improvement, of getting from here to there, that focuses on measurement and achievement.
What if I embrace a completely different framework for understanding my self-awareness?
Improvement feels like a masculine orientation, so what is a more feminine orientation?
What comes to me is a picture of sitting in a circle with others around a fire. Of holding space for what shows up (in my case, a desire to let go of the improvement lens) and acknowledging that desire. Witnessing the desire, letting it swirl around the space like smoke from our fire, watching the sparks that pop into the air unbidden, releasing energy and light.
I am aware of more compassion here, more gentleness. The circle is not oriented around achievement. It is oriented around connection and witnessing. So, perhaps, that is my answer:
Be a witness to the part of myself that pushes toward improvement. Connect to that part of myself, hold her with compassion and gentleness. And invite her back to sit at the fire.
What part of yourself could benefit from more compassion and gentleness? What might that look like?
It’s an ongoing endeavor, of course, and I just keep showing up with humility and appreciation for new awareness. I have recently been thinking about wanting to do a better job of “letting go of an improvement mindset.”
Do you hear the irony there? I can only shake my head and laugh. Who am I kidding? It’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
But what happens if I can put down the lens of “improvement”? Letting go of that linear concept of improvement, of getting from here to there, that focuses on measurement and achievement.
What if I embrace a completely different framework for understanding my self-awareness?
Improvement feels like a masculine orientation, so what is a more feminine orientation?
What comes to me is a picture of sitting in a circle with others around a fire. Of holding space for what shows up (in my case, a desire to let go of the improvement lens) and acknowledging that desire. Witnessing the desire, letting it swirl around the space like smoke from our fire, watching the sparks that pop into the air unbidden, releasing energy and light.
I am aware of more compassion here, more gentleness. The circle is not oriented around achievement. It is oriented around connection and witnessing. So, perhaps, that is my answer:
Be a witness to the part of myself that pushes toward improvement. Connect to that part of myself, hold her with compassion and gentleness. And invite her back to sit at the fire.
What part of yourself could benefit from more compassion and gentleness? What might that look like?
Jessica Curtis is a professional life coach who helps people cultivate intention and live from a place of meaning and authenticity. If you think you could benefit from working with Jessica or want to invite her to work with your group, reach out to start a conversation.
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