I notice myself going through the motions of the day just fine. Getting the kids off to school, prepared and game for client calls, fitting in a quick walk, a couple of chores. I’m functioning fine.
Unfortunately for the Avoider part of myself, I also have time to fit in the meditation practice that’s been assigned for homework in the Coaching Presence class I’m taking.
There’s that sourdough feeling again.
So, I just let it sit there without trying to change it.
And then time for sitting was up (as in, I had somewhere I had to be) and that was that. No big a-ha or shift or dough blobs turning into beautiful loaves of challah.
Driving to pick up my son, I realized that I have not had an in-person interaction with another adult in more than three days, not counting the checkout at the neighborhood food coop.
That means a lot of opportunity to talk to myself, to allow thoughts to swirl and twirl and turn into metallic dough that’s hard to digest.
I’ve also had a lot of time talking to people through the little box of my laptop or the even littler box of my phone. More time on screens, more time texting, more time on social media. The conversations that are contained to little boxes. Words are bouncing around and not really coming to ground.
This is disconnection. And this is that sourdough feeling of feeling disconnected and alone.
Time to hang up the phone, put down the device and seek out some embodied encounters. A walk with a friend, a game of ping pong with my son and finally scheduling the massage that I was gifted for my birthday last year. (We’ll call that an embodied encounter with myself.)
I haven’t done any of these things yet. They are still only in the idea phase. And yet, I feel a little lighter, a little less doughy.
I made the space for an intentional practice of sitting and allowing the feeling. And it didn’t go away. But maybe it freed up the space so that an hour later a realization could surface while I was driving.
Tomorrow I’m leading a call with a group of coaches about evoking transformation - one of the cornerstones of the coaching model I follow. Part of the challenge as a coach with evoking transformation is the realization that it doesn’t always happen in the moment. Clients sometimes leave the session still feeling confused or unsatisfied. Often, the clarity comes later, after some sifting and shifting has been allowed to take place.
I remind myself, that it’s not my job as a coach to fix or make something disappear. It’s my job to create space for holding what is, to create the container that allows for some sifting and shifting.
And I can do that for myself, too. We all can.
What is needing some space for sifting and shifting in you? How can you create that space for yourself?
Jessica Curtis is a professional life coach who helps people cultivate intention and live from a place of meaning and authenticity. If you think you could benefit from working with Jessica or want to invite her to work with your group, reach out to start a conversation.