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Pobody's Nerfect

4/24/2017

3 Comments

 
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"Perfect people are boring," my daughter reminds me when I attempt to fix her sticking out straight hair or suggest a different top than the one that is two sizes too small that she still loves to wear. She learned this saying from a gifted teacher for whom I will be forever grateful.

Last week I decided to practice imperfection. It was school vacation week, so not really a difficult endeavor with so many extra parenting opportunities in which to be less than stellar.

I chose imperfection when I skipped posting to this blog last Tuesday like I normally do. The sky did not fall. No one even texted me to complain. Maybe a few were even appreciative of a little less clutter in their Inboxes.

I chose imperfection when I got back to people belatedly - with no excuses and just an apology.

I chose imperfection when I skipped out on a whole week's worth of yoga.

I chose imperfection when I showed up unshowered to a video call.

I chose imperfection when I left my son's baseball game a few innings early because I was cold.

And guess what, not only has the sky not fallen, but people still love me.

Yup, it's true. Which means that I can do the same for myself.

I can love myself amidst all the mistakes, lazy moments and complete brain farts. And this is a big deal because I have long lived in the world of long shadows and loud buzzers announcing flaws, imperfection and shortcomings.

I am very familiar with the dualistic approach to self-love. Mistakes = not worthy, Perfection = worthy. It is a world of potholes, sinkholes and black holes.

Thanks to coaching, thanks to the likes of Brené Brown and Annie Lamott, thanks to increased self-awareness, I have made a conscious choice to walk out of that world.

Anne Lamott describes perfectionism as "the voice of the oppressor." Well, guess what? I have sent my inner oppressor out to lunch. Maybe it'll even be a long lunch.

I co-led an event for coaches the other day and instead of thinking of all the ways in which is was not perfect, I soaked in the positive feedback and appreciation that I received. People felt inspired, energized, connected, and safe, and I had a part in that. Instead of I wish we had…, I reflected on it from Yes, that was awesome AND this is more that we can do to create more awesomeness…

How freeing it is! I can see my gifts and appreciate them. I can say YES to myself.

The weight of perfection lifts and we can sprout wings. I swear it is true.



Where do you find yourself in the grips of a perfectionist mindset? How might you show yourself more of that love you shower on others?


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Jessica Curtis is a professional coach who helps people cultivate intention and live from a place of meaning and authenticity. If you think you could benefit from working with Jessica or want to invite her to work with your group, reach out to start a conversation.

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3 Comments
Laura Often
4/25/2017 08:18:59 am

Totally needed this today. And my son says the same phrase from the same gifted teacher that we are forever grateful for. I hold myself up to impossible standards that I can never meet so am constantly feeling like I'm not good enough. Good to have reminder that ponoby is nerfect. :-)

Reply
Jessica
4/25/2017 09:05:22 am

It is good to have the awareness of what we put ourselves through - and it is an on-going practice to be gentle. Thanks for sharing.

Reply
Edith McRae
4/25/2017 12:44:02 pm

Truth!!!

Reply



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    Jessica Curtis is a coach, a writer and a spiritual seeker.

    I work with individuals wanting to dive deeper into their lives, to cultivate balance, foster self-awareness and nurture their souls.

    Through this blog, I invite you to explore and be curious: What are you learning about yourself? about your journey? 

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​​​Jessica S. Curtis, M.Ed., CPCC, PCC

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