J. S. Curtis Coaching
personal coaching for powerful change
  • About
    • About Me >
      • My Story
    • Inspiration
  • Services
    • Coaching >
      • Clergy Coaching Circles
      • Anchored and Adept in Uncertain Times
      • Magic and Meaning in Mid-Life
      • FAQ
      • Logistics
    • Workshops
    • Facilitation
    • Testimonials
  • Contact
  • Blog
    • Subscribe

Only For A Moment

2/6/2018

10 Comments

 
Picture
My son split his head open the other day. Thankfully, not his skull - but the deepest layer of stitches was right up against the bone. It happened at school, so by the time I got to him, he was pretty well cleaned up.

He was sitting on the bench outside his classroom with his teacher, his head wrapped in gauze. Crusted blood discolored his eyelids and brows. He was little pale, bundled up in his bright green down jacket.


They had told me on the phone that he had fallen and cut his head, badly enough that he would probably need stitches. I figured I’d bring him home and take a look. Maybe we could get by with some butterfly bandages.

But when I saw him sitting on that bench with his teacher, I knew there was no point in unwrapping his head to take a look. It was written there in the small, shaken body of my ten year old and across the calm and serious face of his teacher.

“You think it needs sewing?” I asked anyway. I couldn’t remember the word for stitches, even though the school secretary had said it to me moments earlier.

The teacher nodded slowly and without hesitation. He exuded such calm and tenderness in that moment.

So it was off to the hospital we went. I wasn’t overly nervous about his cut. Heads are known to bleed a lot, after all. I had gotten stitches in my head when I was ten after being hit in the head with a rock. I remember there was a lot of blood - and all I needed was one stitch.

After driving around in circles on the hospital campus and literally praying to find an open parking spot (it was just as I said aloud, “Okay, God, I could use some help here,” that a car pulled out in front of us), we did eventually find our way to pediatric emergencies, and it wasn’t a long wait to be seen.

The nurse unwrapped the bandages and began to gingerly inspect his head. I decided to be brave and take a look myself. Holy shit, the gash was nearly two inches long, and I swear you could see down to his skull.

I could feel my perspective start to shift - from stitching up a cut on a boy’s head to my little child is lying there with his head split open. All of a sudden, it became a picture of vulnerability. His vulnerability, my own vulnerability, the vulnerability of being human.

Vulnerability showed up and an awareness of my powerlessness. I cannot protect this little boy from the fragility of life.

Initially, I wanted to push against this realization. My muscles tensed up and blood drained from my face. Our nurse politely insisted that I sit down.

As I sat, I remembered to breathe. I realized there was nothing to fight against here. Instead of bracing myself, I released the tension I was holding. And I held lightly the awareness of vulnerability; I knew it was precious, and I didn’t want to bury it.

In those moments sitting there, I could feel the connection between me and my child take hold in a new way. Or perhaps it was only my awareness that was new. Either way, it rooted me in that moment.

I felt gratitude swell in my chest. Gratitude for my son, for his calm and loving teacher who didn’t panic, for our parking angel, for the medical staff, for the classroom full of students who ran to get help (and who were - unbeknownst to us - making get well cards at that moment), for my family, for all the ways we are all connected.

And a simple thought went through my head:

We are here to love one another.

                                                                        ******

“I was afraid. Were you afraid?” his teacher asked me softly the next day.


“Yes,” I replied. 

​
“But only for a moment.”



Picture
​Jessica Curtis is a professional coach who helps people cultivate intention and live from a place of meaning and authenticity. If you think you could benefit from working with Jessica or want to invite her to work with your group, reach out to start a conversation.
​

Sign-up to receive my newsletter and blog to your Inbox:
Subscribe
10 Comments
Marile Borden
2/6/2018 09:02:57 am

Oh my goodness! Hugs to you and the little man from across the pond. Glad all is ok!

Reply
Jessica
2/6/2018 03:07:08 pm

Thanks, Marile.

Reply
Nicola Mendenhall link
2/6/2018 10:38:10 am

Since I have three sons, my breathing initially became shallower as I read your post but when you started to breathe, I did too. I like how you described everything that happened and came to a hopeful conclusion. Thanks for a good piece of writing.

Reply
Jessica
2/6/2018 03:08:41 pm

Thanks, Nicola, for stopping by. I appreciate your comments. Life with boys is an adventure!

Reply
Beth Cronin
2/6/2018 12:47:01 pm

Beautiful, Jess... and so relatable. Glad all is ok and that you were treated with such loving care.

Reply
Jessica
2/6/2018 03:11:57 pm

Thanks, Beth, for reading. <3

Reply
Dale Sinesi
2/7/2018 02:11:08 pm

Jessica, the beauty with which you express yourself in writing, even in the most trying of situations, is amazing. I could feel the love jump off the page.....hugs to all.

Reply
Jessica
2/7/2018 02:53:09 pm

A heartfelt thank you, Dale. I appreciate your thoughtful comments.

Reply
monica rodgers link
2/8/2018 04:54:15 pm

This was so beautiful Jessica. I felt myself totally relate- even when the nurse told you politely but firmly to sit down. That moment when you realize that the world wound them, despite all you do to keep them safe. Killer post- so beautifully written.

Reply
Jessica
2/11/2018 11:12:25 am

Thank you, Monica. I appreciate your comments. I think you hit upon one of the BIG lessons of parenthood: knowing there is only so much that is within our control.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Archives

    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2014
    August 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014

    Categories

    All
    Awe
    Balance
    Beginning
    Belonging
    Coloring
    Creativity
    Cycles
    Embodiment
    Fulfillment
    Geography
    Good Enough
    Gratitude
    Honesty
    Hope
    Intention
    Letting Go
    Living Space
    Loss
    Milestones
    Mindfulness
    Mortality
    Moving Forward
    Nature
    New Year
    Noticing
    Parenting
    Personal Growth
    Perspectives
    Practice
    Presence
    Questions
    Resilience
    Self Care
    Self Compassion
    Self-Compassion
    Simplicity
    Solitude
    Stillness
    Transitions
    Values
    Vulnerability
    Yoga Practice
    Zen

    RSS Feed

    Author

    Jessica Curtis is a coach, a writer and a spiritual seeker.

    I work with individuals wanting to dive deeper into their lives, to cultivate balance, foster self-awareness and nurture their souls.

    Through this blog, I invite you to explore and be curious: What are you learning about yourself? about your journey? 

    Contact me - I would love to chat with you about where you are now and where you would like to be.

Email:
jessica@jscurtiscoaching.com​

Phone:
​774-545-6659


​​​Jessica S. Curtis, M.Ed., CPCC, PCC

Picture
Picture
Copyright © 2020