Sitting down to write this morning, I came up blank. I had no ideas for what I might write about.
So I paused. And I slowed my thoughts enough to notice the scratches on the kitchen island where I am sitting. Not keen on seeing those since we are renting someone’s house while they are away.
Wouldn’t it be nice to just run my hand over them, smooth them over and have them disappear? Similar to how sometimes I just want to smooth over the things that feel messy or scratchy on the inside, so that they, too, can simply disappear.
What’s going on in me? I’m unclear - as if I have been absent. In some ways, I have been.
I haven’t actually gone anywhere; rather I have been overseeing travel logistics for guests and family members.
I have been hyper-focused on hosting and household tasks - clean sheets, clean towels, meals for six to eight people, restaurant reservations, sightseeing, packing, plus the train departures and arrivals. By the end of the week, I will have made nine trips to the train station in the last ten days.
By the end of the week, I might be putting myself on a train...if just so I can sit for a stretch of time and read a book, or write. Heck, maybe even both those things.
I do not mean to complain. I have been having a great time hosting people, plus sending my son on his first trip away from home, seeing family I haven’t seen in a long time. It’s all good stuff.
AND I realize that I have forgotten to put aside time for myself that doesn’t involve chores or multi-tasking. That is why, in a way, I have been absent from myself.
So, today, I have sat down to write. It feels good to reconnect - and I appreciate you stopping by to read. What else can I add to my day that will help me to reconnect to myself? A short walk to the yarn store, maybe (thought that feels a little like multi-tasking). Perhaps ten minutes of listening to a favorite poet author without also folding laundry.
Or maybe, if I am feeling really brave, I could just sit here and listen to the sounds around me. No agenda, just curiosity. No to-do list, just presence.
What is it like for you to stop in this moment? What is it like to put down your agenda, your surfing, your to-do list and just notice what is here?
Jessica Curtis is a professional coach who helps people cultivate intention and live from a place of meaning and authenticity. If you think you could benefit from working with Jessica or want to invite her to work with your group, reach out to start a conversation.