Feeling very stiff at first, finding ways to avoid starting, reminding myself that just putting pen to paper (or body on the mat) is the first step. Journal writing - like that first week of forward folds - mostly letting gravity do the work.
Now those forward folds have gotten a little easier, putting words on paper feels more fluid. And the avoidance strategies still show up. I love yoga while I’m doing it. I love writing while I’m doing it. So what makes it hard to show up for these practices that I enjoy?
I suspect it has to do with corralling myself into the present moment. There’s no avoiding myself or my internal experience once I’ve sat down to begin. And it’s not all pain and torture to meet myself in the present moment. Some days I feel overflowing with gratitude or resonance or joy.
I also know that if I’m feeling unease or difficulty, allowing it to be with me in savasana or writing it out in my journal helps me to find release.
As I’m writing, I realize that it is when I’m feeling sensation-averse that I turn away from my presencing practices. Framing it this way helps me to hold myself more compassionately. It’s not laziness or a mere lack of effort. It helps the shoulds to fall away and instead I can hold out an invitation to myself.
So, let this blog post be an invitation. An invitation to take a breath, to pause and notice your inhale. And your exhale. An invitation to be present with yourself and know that you are here. And that is enough.
Jessica Curtis is a professional life coach who helps people cultivate intention and live from a place of meaning and authenticity. If you think you could benefit from working with Jessica or want to invite her to work with your group, reach out to start a conversation.