Lately, I have been getting agitated about how my pants are fitting. Or rather, how they are not fitting. It was bound to happen - living in France and all.
I’m trying to teach myself to be okay with this. I spent a fair amount of my twenties thinking too much about my eating, and I don’t want to go back to that mindset. I discovered it was always a never-good-enough model that did more harm than good. Something happened in my late twenties, and I managed to put that mindset down and walk away.
I’ve noticed myself in the last couple of months thinking about ways I could restrict my eating or ramp up my exercise so that I get back to being comfortable in my pants.
This morning at my yoga class, I was one of the last ones to arrive. The only spot left was right next to the instructor (she has us set up in a circle around the room) and facing the wall of mirrors.
I noticed myself tensing up as I looked at myself in the mirror, next to my tiny, lithe instructor with her typical, slight-through-the-hips French build. I felt big and cumbersome.
I recognized what was happening in the moment. I could even see that the mirror was a little distorted and everyone looked a little more squat than their normal selves. It made me think about the power of perspectives - which we often explore in coaching. And yet, I walked home still hanging onto those negative feelings.
And then I got this awesome text from a friend: You are beautiful and powerful!
Her words jostled around in my head. It would have been easy to filter them into the junk pile along with most of the thoughts that pass through. But I continued to let them clang around in there. And I asked myself, “What would it be like to let those words sink into my body?
So, I closed my eyes, and I imagined those two words actually moving down into my body. They were written out in balloon letters, and the vision I had reminded me of something you might see on School House Rock - anthropomorphised words wriggling along my insides - down my arms, my sides, my legs and back up to my core.
I watched them zig zag through my gut and wind themselves around my heart. I felt the power and the strength of those words, and I felt the love that brought them to me.
My friend spoke to me with love and her words landed on my heart.
And from there, I could see that my body needed the same from me. Words of love, not critique. Gestures of gratitude, not guilt.
So, I am loving the hell out of my body. I am treating it with the reverence and respect it deserves. It’s brought me so far, and I am grateful for each step. Today, I am walking through my day with beauty and power, and most of all LOVE.
What does Beautiful and Powerful mean to you? How might those words impact your day?
Jessica Curtis is a professional coach who helps people cultivate intention and live from a place of meaning and authenticity. If you think you could benefit from working with Jessica or want to invite her to work with your group, reach out to start a conversation.